The Story Pirates meet an excitable isopod (Maulik Pancholy) who curates a very unique underwater museum. Featuring two new stories: “I’m Toast, Man,” a Johnny Cash-style song about one piece of bread’s miraculous transformation, written by Sam, a 6 year old from New York, and “The Adventures of Harold Jordan,” a story about a celebrity’s hubristic foray into television, written by a 9 year old from Iowa named Phoebe.
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Illustration by Camila Franklin
Original Stories
I’m Toast, Man
by Sam, age 6, New York
Once upon a time, there was a slice of bread. Let’s call it Paindy. He lived in a big loaf. Life, for Paindy, was all very safe and snuggly, but wasn’t really fun. One day, someone, a human, picks Paindy and his friend. The two slices were excited to be chosen, and also, a little nervous. Because even though life in the loaf was sort of boring, they did not know where they were going. It could have been many places. It could been to be part of a sandwich. It could have been to be French toast. But they soon learned that they were being taken to this other, mysterious place. A bright, shiny , silvery place. One that had two holes, slots, at the top of it. They were being taken there by this human, who had chosen them from among all of the other slices to go on what they soon realized was going to be an adventure, one they had never experienced before. SO, when they saw the inside of this silvery thing, they did not really know what to think or how to feel. The human put them in the slots, which left their bottom halves submerged in a very dark, but cool place, while their top halves were still above…. What was going to happen now, then? All of a sudden , they felt lowered down, so that the entire surface of their bodies were in the dark, cool place. Except….suddenly, but gradually, they started to feel heat. Paindy calls out to his friend, “Hey, can you hear me?” “Yes!” What’s happening?” “I think that we’re in this thing that I once heard about out. It’s called a toaster.” “I don’t know what that is. But I’m scared. It’s spooky down, here. I just want to go back up there, get back in the loaf.” “Well, let’s see what happens. I think that it’s kind of fun, and you know what else?” “What?” “When we get out of here, we won’t just be plain bread anymore. You know what we’ll we?” “What?” “Toast, man, toast.” “Toast?” “Yeah, toast, is cool, man. They might even then slather us put with a butter bath.” Just then, there was a ding, a popping sounds and the two bread friends were catapulted up, jettisoned into the air. Paindy couldn’t believe it, he was so surprised and excited, and said to his friend, happier than he had ever been, “I’m toast, man!’
Our adaptation of “Millions of Stars” was written and produced by Brendan O’Grady.
The Adventures of Harold Jordan
by Phoebe, age 9, Iowa
Announcer 1: Welcome back to the Adventures of Harold Jordan! Announcer 1: (says under his breath) well we can't do welcome back this show is new... Annoncer 2: And here’s your host “thee” Harold Jordan! Harold Jordan (well call him Harold for now) : Hi guys (stammers)uh, you see this is the first episode and all are ideas are bad. Welp! Thats a problem! Oh! I know I’ll just walk outside into these green plants, and step on them with my shoe! There was that an adventure? What do you think audience? Audience: Boo! Boo! Boo! Your show is trash! Harold (says over Booing): O.K RUDE. And can we please stop the Booing!!!!!!!!! Fine you know what?!!!!! Producer: What dude? Harold: your not supposed to talk!!!!!! (says under his breath or so he thinks)Okay calm down Gerald Audience: what did you say?!!! Harold: I TOTES did not just say Gerald!!!! Audience:we all totally heard you say Gerald! Random old lady: I didn't hear him. Harold : see!!!!! Random old lady: because my hearing aids weren't on!!! Harold: Ohhhh…….. Audience: He’s a fraud, get him!!!!!!!!!!!aaaggghhhh charrrrgggggeeeee!!!!!!!! Harold: this isn't what it looks like……..I..I can explain Annoncer 1: Well were ending that episode there! Make sure to tune in next time to see what happens to Harold Jordan in the Adventures of Harold Jordan angry audience!!!!!
