The Story Pirates celebrate the most popular and definitely well-known holiday of the year, Referee Day! Featuring two new stories: “My Dad’s Sneezes,” a story about a cataclysmic paternal sneeze that causes the entire town to take cover, written by Betty, a 10 year old from the UK, and “Floating Hair,” a story about a phantom hairpiece that tries to undermine one kid’s confidence, written by a 9 year old from New Jersey named Azariah.
Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!
Illustration by Camila Franklin
My Dad’s Sneezes
by Betty, age 10, UK
TAKE COVER...! MY DAD IS ABOUT TO SNEEZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Floating Hair
by
Story Pirates adaptation
Click to Read Original Stories from Other Episodes.
Roll Call Stories
“How Humans Got Moustaches
by Vivian, age 10, Canada
One day a piece of hair named Harriot tried to find the perfect head to live on. This is the main purpose of all hair to find the right head, and Harriot was on the prowl!
Harriot: Time to find a head. I am so ridiculously soft and luxurious I should be able to find a head in no time.
The problem is nobody's head was quite right for her or they were already taken. Harriot tried speed growing, online hair/head match making and even just hanging around barbershops looking for the right head.
Harriot started getting desperate and she randomly asked a girl walking down the street but the girl already had a braid named Bradley.
Harriot: Can I be your hair?
Bradley: Girlie no way I'm her braid!
Next she tried a teenager but he had a mohawk named Maddy.
Harriot: Can I be your hair dude?
Maddy: No dude, I'm already his mohawk! You look like a dreadlock, get lost.
Harriot then tried a bald person but he had armpit hair already.
Harriot: I'm going to find a head today, this guy is baldy bald bald! Hey can I be your hair?
Armpit Hair: No I have his armpit.
Harriot: But I want his head, it's like a cue ball.
Armpit Hair: I'm pretty sure he likes it that way.
Harriot: What about the other armpit?
Armpit Hair: I'm thinking about heading up there for the winter so no dice kiddo!
Harriot was at her wits end.
Harriot: This is crazy sauce, a gorgeous lock of prime hair like me can't find a happy head to live on, let alone an armpit. Where can a beautiful handle bar lock of hair like me find her forever home???
Moustacheless Man: I need a moustache sooooo baddly, whatever that is! Why does nobody have a moustache, I mean hair on their face, that's it! It's like I can't find the style I want (preferably handle bar), and all hair wants to be on heads or other parts of the body that can be weird or gross.
Harriot gathered herself together and rushed happily into the moustacheless mans arms.
Harriot: I can be your moustache!!
Moustacheless Man: Thank......y achoo, this will take some getting used to!
Random Stranger: Nice face hair thing that adds style and character to your face.
So Harriot became a moustache and that's how humans got moustaches!
Harriot: The End!
Moustacheless Man: Achoo!
The Penny Who Wanted To Be Spent
by Joseph, age 9, Florida
Once upon a time there was a penny. He lived in a wizard’s house. Now, this may sound weird, but he was ALIVE. Her is how he came to live. One day, the wizard was walking to his brother’s house. When he got there, his brother, who was a little bit grumpy, was watching telavision, when he arrived. The wizard grabbed the remote and shut the telavision off. His brother yelled in rage and threw a pile of coins at the wizard that he was counting. His brother was greedy so he always had a pile of coins next to him. The wizard was caught off guard and stumbled backwards. A come alive potion fell out of his robe and spilled onto a large penny. The penny started to shake and then the penny said: who are you? To the wizard’s brother who shrieked: get that penny out of my house! So the wizard picked up the penny and raced out of the house. When they got home the wizard put the penny in his magical wallet, where he was sure the penny would like. But the penny wanted to be spent. He tried to talk to the other penny’s but they were not good conversationalists. So he decided he would tell the wizard how he felt. But the wizard said: don’t be ridiculous. You’re just a penny. The penny ate the wizard. The penny went on a journey to the copper factory. Then he got a job in the factory as the owner of the factory. Then, after leaving his head copper maker in charge, he set off on a journey to spend himself. The end.
Why Numbers Never End
by Cecily, age 7, Connecticut
Once there was a girl named Sarah. She was the number holder. She made up all the numbers and she wrote them down in her number journal. Her number journal had a lot of pages so she could write all the numbers. One time she wanted to go to outer space. So she rented a space ship and flew into outer space. But she went too far and went through a wormhole. She dropped her journal and she took some pages with her. So that's why numbers never end because she took a lot of the pages with her. But maybe in the future we will find her and know all the numbers THE END.
